The next two weeks of my life are going to be hell. I have to say good bye to a lot of people. Saying good bye to some I will avoid until the very last second. All the hugs and laughs seem so final. I decided to take a trip up to West Virginia to say good bye to my Fairmont family until next time, and I have only been gone for 3 days and seems like forever. I can't imagine living where else except with Jannetta, Max, Soph, and Mas. They mean the world to me. Now, don't get me wrong I can't imagine anyone else other than my parents taking care of me other than Tanner. The scarest part is moving over half way across the country and have nothing but my Tanner, a few pictures, and a few thousand memories. When I go back to South Carolina in a couple of days I will finish packing and await the time for Tanner's plane to land. I feel like there is still so much to do, so many things I wanted to do before I left. I know that these things won't be done, I will just have to do them when I come home on vacation.
It is insane when I think about how much my life has changed in the past two years and I can only hope and pray that they next two+ years will be as happy as my past. When I am upset I won't have my favorite man there to tell me to not cry and then sit on my lap and give me the best love ever. I am going to miss him. So much. My heart breaks thinking about me leaving my little brother. I won't have Sophia to there to make me randomly laugh at stupid things. She won't be there to finish the end of the song/lryic. My mom will always be there to give me advise, but... I can't even explain what I am going to miss about my mom. Talking about silly things that don't really matter. Hanging out with her while she folds laundry. Drinking, laughing, and be loud... Getting on dads nerves because he doesn't understand what is so funny. Dad. Kicking him in the ass and then him getting mad that I continiously do so. Play fighting and then complaining that we hurt eachother. Staying up watching football and then Youtubeing for hours. Movie night.
I can't wait to start my life with Tanner. Even time he is away I miss him more and more every day. I'm just scared. I'm scared of the possiblities of life changing too much. I'm scared I'm going to miss everything. My best friend had a beautiful baby girl back in December, the next time I see her after I leave, Baby Girl will be a year old! I'm going to miss everything. But I'm afraid I would miss Tanner 456784534846548764 times more. I know I contradict myselft a lot in this blog, I'm just going to miss my family so much.
I know I will still seem them when we are able to but the last time I left them it broke my heart into a million pieces and now I have to put my dad's Giants hat back on and back my way out of the drive way.
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